Saturday, January 21, 2012

Good Genes or Why Procopios Trump Kardashians

A picture seems like the perfect place to begin for this post.




Photograph is two years old, but I like it. And since I am the one writing the blog- my choice. Obviously I have three gorgeous daughters. Better yet, they are intelligent, kind (for the most part), successful, and each of them is blessed with a great sense of humor. Which is why they will not be pissed that I am writing about them.

Every now and again people remark that the Procopio girls are the Kardashians of Turbotville. You could logically replace Turbotville with Shamokin at a whim of course. Put a little Coal Region twist to it. Granted if you take the whole group of them together there are SOME similarities. Dark hair, great figures, facial beauty. Take a look see for yourself.




My daughters, however, actually do something besides exploit themselves in public for millions of dollars. Rachel attends law school, Emily is studying social work, and Becca is finishing high school. Right there probably lists more than ALL the Kardashians, combined have done in their cumulative lifetimes. I realize this is my opinion only and I could, in fact be wrong, but I have tuned into their show- perhaps twice and concluded that they mostly do nothing, but look good doing it.

So let's go back to exploiting for a moment because the last time someone told me I gave birth to the Kardashians of rural Pennsylvania I had a glimmer...an idea of a show to exploit my own. In my opinion (my blog, my opinion. Never let that thought wander far when you are reading this) it would be hilarious to put my offspring in a situation far from their comfort zone.

We would acquire Clark's Ag Store and let the Procopios run it and deal with the customers! I never said I was going to be original because I know the K sisters run a store. Or pretend to. Our store would be called "Good Jeans." Get it? A take off on "Good Genes." Best I could do. The Procopio sisters and their staff could all wear bib overalls and flannel, because after all it would be a farm store. Sure, they could spice up the farmer garb at whim. The world could tune in to watch them deal with things like which fertilizer to choose, how to decide what feed is right for your cow, or try to calculate how much seed is needed for 750 acres.

What did you say? Sounds a little boring? Oh no worries, there would be conflict galore. Imagine how up in arms Fred would be over at the Great Valu (Food Wrong) when Good Jeans started luring away his best cashiers. Then there would be the kurfluffle within the Amish community when they had no choice but to deal with the Procopios. I can see the girls losing patience with them and their all business attitudes rather quickly because their store would strive to put the fun back in farming. If farming was ever fun in the first place. Of course there would always be the danger that they would lose interest in the agriculture gig and turn their sights on The Tin Cup. Can you say potential sports bar or coffe house?

And what if all of this is a huge, gigantic flop? I, like the mother of the Kardashian clan, have a back up. A ringer, so to speak. No, there are no other Procopio girls waiting to mature and step into the limelight or a long lost brother being raised somewhere by apes. Hells to the no; mine is waaay better. Just wait until you see Bella's upcoming season on Celebrity Apprentice.....



Monday, January 2, 2012

Is this thing on?

In their first blog most people clarify why they are writing or how they got started. I am not going to be the first one to buck that tradition so here goes:

Wait, maybe I should say who I am...like introduce myself? Damn, I don't know. It took me three days to figure out how to make my profile, upload my picture, and slap on the fancy template. And two coffees to get back to the location where I could actually write the blog. Brief. I will keep it brief.

Karla Kleskie Procopio. Born in Shamokin, Pennsylvania. Living in Turbotville, Pennsylvania for sixteen years. Graduated from high school, went to college, dropped out of college, got a job, went back to college, and dropped out again. Got married, had three daughters, stayed at home and majored in Blue's Clues. Eventually went back to college, majored in English (yeah, that will get you places), graduated, ended a marriage. Sent one daughter to college, got a dog, sent second daughter to college while first daughter went to law school. In the meanwhile became employed full time, met a wonderful man, and learned to go to bed early.

Why the blog? I enjoy writing. At one time I was actually good at it. I wrote about Shakespeare, Austen, and Thomas Hardy. My goal was to kick collegiate ass one paper and test at a time. I made most of the traditional students want to be my partner for group projects. I did two internships with the smartest man I ever met, in the English Department of Bloomsburg University. Graduation and the real world present little opportunity to show off one's flare for explicating poetry or being able to understand just what Faulkner was trying to say in that five page paragraph.

I also have lots of stories. Ask anyone who knows me and people who have tried to escape me in any social situation. Plenty of them are daughter stories. I also fancy myself to be clever now and again with the turn of a phrase and such. Over the years I have tried to journal things and failed. Maybe if I utilize this blog thing I can immortalize all my random thoughts, adventures, twisted points of view, and try not to embarrass anyone, at least not purposely.

Mistakes? Expect them. I have a degree in English, but I am not the world's best speller or grammatarian. I just made that up, by the way. Punctuation? Forget about it. I edit other people's work like nobody's business, but no one is going to edit this thing. People (my kids) LOVE to beat my ass at Scrabble, Words with Friends, and Boggle. Rambling may be the order of the day.

Here goes. Preparing to launch. Hopefully I can figure out how to post it before the end of my Christmas vacation...no promises :)